I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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