Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
