Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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