"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
