Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
