just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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