shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
