yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
