Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize