While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
