3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
