i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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