im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
