if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
