Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
