Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
