Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
