I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
