I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
