everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
can u get pink eye on your cock?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize