no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs