ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.