She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.