When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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