Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
