I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
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Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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