too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
