I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
