whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
