i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
