I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
