You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
