If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
