We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
