areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
