there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
