He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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