someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
