it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
