That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't turn off my feet"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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