____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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