I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
