Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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