you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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