I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
