Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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