Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
