five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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