He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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