do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
