ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
