The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
