It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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