The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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