I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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