I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
two words...techno handjob
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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