I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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