she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
