so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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