All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Everclear isn't food dammit
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
