I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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