fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She bit a glass in half.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize